seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
