its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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