Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
