Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
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