As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
