someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
