I just cut my nipple shaving
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
