first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
