Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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