One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
