Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
