she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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