The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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