i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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