He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
