doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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