Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
