just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
