My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
