i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize