Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
