I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
