I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
