Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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