So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
