A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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