it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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