fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
