its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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