i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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