Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
