Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
