omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
