She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
