Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
