We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
