Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
