Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
