omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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