Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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