I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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