hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize