you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
