How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
