And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
