It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I did not marry a roomba.
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