Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
