Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
did you just send me my own nude
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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