Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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