she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize