fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
