It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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