I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
