He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
