Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
