We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
