Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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