Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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