I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i barfeds in our rink
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
