Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
