It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
