Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
