too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
