He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
being pregnant is like rehab
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
