if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
