omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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