She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
